SHECKS (SEX)

SHECKS (SEX)

Ma and Pa are sitting on the porch swing one evening enjoying the warm breeze and the night sounds. Suddenly, for no reason at all, Ma hauls off and slaps Pa up side the head so hard he falls off the swing. Dazed,
Pa gets up and asks, "What the hell was that for?"

To which Ma replies, "That's for 20 years of bad sex!"

Pa says nothing and gets back on the swing. About 5 minutes of silence later, he hauls off and slaps Ma up side the head equally hard.

Ma gets up dazed and asks, "What was that for?"

To which Pa replies, "That's for knowing the difference!"

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When Chelsea Clinton was eight, Hillary was reading one of her favorite fairy tales.

"Mommy," asked Chelsea, "Do all fairy tales begin with "Once Upon a
Time...?""

"No, dearest," replied Hillary, "sometimes they start with 'Darling, I
have to work a little late at the office tonight...'"

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An old farmer was relaxing on his verandah one evening, watching his
rooster in the yard running around chasing after the hen. They circled
the yard half a dozen times, the cock in what seemed to be fierce
pursuit of the hen... The farmer's wife then threw some scraps into the yard and the hen kept right on running, but the rooster stopped for
nourishment. The farmer then lamented: "Good God in Heaven, I pray that I never get that hungry!"