GEORGE BUSH

GEORGE BUSH

George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next
when his telephone rang.

"Hello! Mr. Bush," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Santa Singh from Sahnewal, an Industrial Town in India. I am calling up to inform you that we are officially declaring a war on you!"

"Well, Santa," George Bush replied, "This is indeed an important news! Tell me, how big is your army?"

"At this moment of time," said Santa after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my friend Banta, my cousin Halwanta, my next door neighbour Satwanta, and all the members of our kabbaDii team -- that makes a total of Twenty Five people!"

George Bush sighed. "I must tell you Santa that I have a million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Waahe Guru!" said Santa, "I'll have to call you back again!"

Sure enough, the next day Santa called back. "Right Mr. Bush, the war
is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Santa?" George Bush asked.

"Well, we have two combine harvesters, a bulldozer and a tractor
from the farm."

Once more George Bush sighed. "I must tell you, Santa, that I have sixteen thousand tanks, fourteen thousand armoured personnel carriers, and my army has increased to two million men since we last spoke."

"Really?" said Santa "I'll have to again call you back!"

Sure enough, Santa called again the next day. "Right Mr. Bush, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said George Bush. "Why this sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Santa "We've had a look at the Geneva Convention, all of us had a chat and we decided that since we would not be able to feed two million POW’s, we need to call off the war."

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One afternoon, George Bush was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then," instructed Bush.

"But, sir, I have a wife and two children!"

"Bring them along!" replied Bush. He turned to the other man and said,
"Come with us."

"But sir, I have a wife and six children!" the second man answered.

"Bring them as well!" answered Bush as he headed for his limo.

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

Bush replied, "No problem, the grass in the field behind my home is nearly a foot tall."

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A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened?" "Terrorists have kidnapped President Bush and his team. They are asking for a $10 million ransom, otherwise they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."

The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"

"About a gallon."

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Once President Bush went to a school to interact with the students. After having one brief talk with the children he asked them if they had any questions to ask him. One boy raised his hand and stood up.

Bush : What's your name ?
Boy : John
Bush : What's your question ?
John : Sir, I have three questions
1). Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO ?
2) Where is Osama ??
3) Why does America support Pakistan so much ???
Bush : You are an intelligent student, John. (just then the bell for recess rang)

Bush : Oh ! dear students we will continue after the recess is over.

After the recess

Bush : OK, children where were we ? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any question ?

Another boy raised his hand.

Bush : What's your name ?
Boy : Peter
Bush : What's your question ?
Peter : Sir, I have 5 questions.
1). Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO ?
2) Where is Osama ??
3) Why does America support Pakistan so much ???
4) Why did recess bell rang 20 minutes before the scheduled time ????
5) Where is John ?????

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