BLONDES

BLONDES

A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blonde said, "I
hate all the blonde jokes people tell."

"Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."

They went outside and hailed a taxi driver. "Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette.

The taxi drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See! That guy was really stupid."

"No kidding," replied the blonde. "There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."

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Norman and his blonde wife live in Fargo. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park..", then the electricity goes out. Norman's wife says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Norman says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"


A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance that said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror, which if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!"

The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, "I think I'm the most beautiful of us three" and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.

The redhead stepped up and said, "I think I'm the most talented of us three" and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hands.

Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, "I think..." and was promptly sucked into the mirror.

A SARDARJI ENCOUNTERS A BLONDE

A young sardarji, a ventriloquist, was touring various clubs and was very popular for giving plenty of sardarji’s jokes through his dummy. One night he was doing a show in a club in a small town in Arkansas. Sardarji introduced himself to the audience and for a change instead of going through his usual sardarji’s stuff, with his dummy on his knee, he started giving the dumb blonde jokes. All of a sudden, a blonde woman from the 4th row stood up to her full height and started shouting at the top of her voice, "What do you think of yourself? I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype a woman that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It is people like you who defame the women and keep women like me from being respected at work and in the society and from reaching our full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general... and all this in the name of humour!" Sardarji felt very much embarrassed and began to apologize when the blonde woman yelled, "Mr. Singh, please, you stay out of this! I'm not talking to you. I am talking to that little jerk sitting on your knee!"

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. Finally they decided to swim across the 100 mile ocean to their home. On the day they swam the brunette swam 25 miles and drowned. The red head swam 50 miles and drowned. The blonde swam 75 miles, got tired, and swam back.

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A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were
watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from
the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't
jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50
she owed.

The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend."

The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet. You won the money."

So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5
o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The Blonde replied, Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!

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A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?" The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!”

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